I preface this next story by stating the following: Law enforcement officers see some of the worst in humanity. We have to handle people when they are at their lowest despicable selves. The real them!
With that comes a lot of dark humor born out of these incidents. Law enforcement officers can’t talk to the general public about these incidents. We really can’t talk to our friends outside of the business about it either. They just wouldn’t understand or get the dark humor in it. We can only share these experiences with our fellow colleagues to get a good laugh out of the tragedy.
By the time this incident happened, I was a seasoned veteran at the sheriff’s office. I had seen a thing or two by now. I was in my 15th year and had been promoted to sergeant at this point in my career.
The Dark Humor in My Career
One afternoon while on patrol, I got a phone call from a coroner detective. He asked for me to stop by a residence he was at to help him with a body that needed to be loaded into his van.
When I arrived, the coroner detective was in the house talking to a woman in the living room. He excused himself and we went outside to talk. We walked back onto the drive way and towards the side of the house. He wanted me to enter through the small side door of the garage.
Before he opened the door he turned and looked at me with this shitty like grin. It was a grin and look of: I can’t wait to show you what is in here! He whispered, “brace yourself.” with that shitty grin on.
He opened the door and we walked in. Once I was inside the garage I looked up towards the ceiling. Dangling from the ceiling in the center of the garage was a naked male body, late 40’s early 50’s. After the initial shock of what I was looking at, I chuckled, covered my mouth to not burst out loud with laughter. Once I regained my composure, I looked over at the coroner detective and he smiled and asked if I could help cut him down from the entanglement he was in. We got him down and loaded him into the body bag and van.
The decedent had died by autoerotic asphyxia. In layman terms, he was jerking off trying to achieve orgasm while strangling himself. The only problem was he hung himself by accident because his fail safes failed while getting his freak on. In fact, he might not have had any fail safes in place. I’m not sure. It was a rough day for him. He never achieved orgasm, hung himself by accident, and got caught with his pants down, literally!
Then it happened, the decedent was attempting to reach out to me. He didn’t know how to manifest to show himself. So, he started sending me images in hopes I could comminute with him. He kept sending me images and feelings of embarrassment.
He then sent me images of being a good citizen and held in high esteem amongst his peers and then more embarrassment. He was worried about what his wife thought and couldn’t leave until he resolved that.
I ended up telling him that he needed to leave. It was not worth staying the next hundred years haunting the house because he died in a sexual act and was embarrassed about it. I told him she knows what happened now and that she would recover and move on in life. She would most likely try to forget what she saw. And, she probably won’t tell your friends what happened either, other than you died by accident. With that, his energy left the room. Gone!
Years After
I only had 2 incidents of this type in my entire career. I know I will burn in hell for this, but it brought years of laughter. The incident and this man’s death was tragic and not funny…but, it was funny! After I left the residence, I laughed so hard, I threw up!
I say this jokingly: People often ask me why I drink alcohol, well, its calls like these that play a part in my drinking habits. There are things that can not be unseen and alcohol helps blur that vision!
Until next time on Haunted Foodie Traveler…
